Who’s sleepy?

I am!

Getting up this morning was OK, but my contacts don’t like me too much when I don’t get enough sleep!

Today is going to be a full and busy day. Facing it with a lack of sleep handicap will just make me stronger! 😉

Hope you all have a great day!

P.S. I haven’t looked it up yet, but if anyone knows a link to calculate weight watcher points, let me know. I cannot find my book.

 

Food:

Yogurt w/ granola (points?)

Too late

It’s very late, and this blog is who I have to confide in.
Meds took me to sleep quickly, but now I’m wide awake. Having a rough flare right now, hurting my back, butt, thighs and calves, all the big muscles are hurting.
Chest hurts, but I think that is anxiety. Work is tough, and thinking about it makes me uptight. Relationship is doing the same thing. So I need to not think about either.
I wish I had 3 days in a cabin in the woods alone for some downtime.
Sigh

I am grateful that I have a job. I am grateful for meds that help a lot of the time. I am grateful that my partner is sleeping here beside me.

Worthless

I am absolutely worthless today.  At work, totally bored with myself and don’t want to do anything! I started thinking about our little trip this weekend, and all of the things I need to do to get ready, and totally stressed out.  Now I’m feeling so burnt out I don’t even want to be here.  I thought maybe if I came here and wrote this, I could shake the “DON’T WANNA’S” off. I am also gonna take a quick walk around the building!

 

A quick post to start the day

OK, I am a little better prepared to start the food day, meaning I have a Lean Cuisine for lunch later. I completely blew yesterday!

I was not mentally ready. I was hungry every minute yesterday, and I am never hungry like that. It was all just a matter of “you can’t have that so you want it and everything else”. Very immature I know, still, if it was easy everyone would do it right? LOL

What I have to remember is I CAN have whatever I want, as long as I stay within my points.

As long as I am here and pumping myself up, I’ll add my Quit Meter. I have been nicotine free for 5 months and 3 days!

Food Today:

Peach Greek yogurt w/ granola (points?)

2 point banana

1 tbs. peanut butter

1 rice cake

Cal 200/fat 6/protein 12/sugar 6 – lean cuisine (points ?)

For dinner I had a bowl of cereal.

I will look up points tonight. Then as a late night snack I had a PB&J. I’ll come back here when I transcribe the points, but I think I was well under 18.

Autumn, the springtime of death

I just remembered that I get to go play in the woods this weekend!

I grew up in a place where the leaves change color, and the air gets crisp, where fall is a real season.

I love it here, but we don’t really have a fall season, and I miss it. For me, a walk in the fall woods is healing. The colors changing, leaves rustling, bundled in a warm jacket. It rejuvenates me.

Friends have invited us and lots of other friends to spend the weekend at their ranch. Their very wooded ranch that is 3 hours north of here, and has a bit more of a season!

There will be lots of fun and Halloween madness. Motorcycles and 4 wheelers. But most importantly for me, a chance to disappear into the woods for a little communing with nature!

 

 

First weigh-in – Goal weight 145

Judging by the way my clothes fit, i was not surprised at 160.2 lbs. this morning. So, the first order of business is to lop off that extra 15 lbs.

Where are my loppers? 😉

If I remember correctly, I get 16 points per day.  (5′-9″ tall, 160.2 lbs. ) I am trying to lose 15.2 lbs.

I know I have picked a lousy time of year, with Halloween and Thanksgiving right around the corner, and to be honest, if I had money I would just go buy some bigger clothes. However, I am VERY committed to our debt reduction, and NEED to lose this weight anyway. 15 extra pounds is really trying on my knee joints, and I do not want to invest in any more bionic parts during this lifetime!

So, here goes. I am going to try to get into a better routine with my food, then add exercise after, maybe next week.

Breakfast

Coffee

2 point banana

4 point Nature Valley granola bar

6 baby carrots (points?)

1 rice cake (points?)

1 tablespoon of crunchy peanut butter (points?)

 

 

P.S. I just grabbed this pic off the internet. These are not my toes, I have simply borrowed them till I get a pic of my own toes! LOL

So, what about health?

It has dawned on me that I have to start doing something about this smoking weight. Yes I have gained about 15 pounds since I quit smoking 5 months ago.
I will do an official weigh-in tomorrow, first thing in the morning.
I am not sure how I’m going to approach this yet.
Diet I think I will do Weight Watchers again. I have never been more than 20 lbs overweight, and Weight Watchers was the easiest! I still have my points books, so I can just skip thee classes, as I’m pretty self motivating.
Exercise I have no idea what to do here. I want to run. That is so easy, but I can’t. My choices are walking and or elliptical.
Now, where is that motivation????

1 of 6

11 years ago my partner and I planned and had our beautiful baby boy. Right after he was born we attended a ‘moms group’ for same sex parents. We met 5 other families that had little boys within months of the same age.
We have kept in touch over the years so that our sons would have a peer group of boys with 2 moms.
I just found out today that we are the last couple still together of our six family group.
One in six. Wow.
When our son was born, I went with him when they took him to weigh and footprint and such. I promised him then, when we were alone for the first time, that he would always have 2 parents who love him, and he would never wonder where his home was.
That has at times been a hard vow to keep. Still, I can’t believe we are the last couple standing.

Meter Reader

4 months and 18 days!
Great meter, yes?
I have been to several social engagements where there were a lot of smokers, and I have not been tempted!
However.. There have been times! I had a very stressful morning at work Tuesday, and I remember thinking that I wanted a smoke so bad I could smell the smoke, but a few deep breathes and it got better.