No Filters!

After my first ever marathon training class, I stopped to get donuts to make my son his annual birthday doughnut tower breakfast. I had not been in a doughnut shop or even seen a doughnut since starting my Ketogenic Diet on July 6th. Well, upon entering, I was immediately engulfed in the sugary intoxication that was the freshly made doughnuts. I vowed not to crumble, so began to breathe only through my mouth, not flirting with it, but shutting the aroma out! The swoon soon began to pass, I ordered my goods and was out the door. Later that evening, as my family marveled at my ability to abstain from the doughnuts, I suddenly and in a conspiratory whisper (yet loud enough for all to hear) proclaimed that it was much like how a sex addict would feel in a whorehouse. Mike drop. Apparently, Keto (or age) has swept away a few filters! LOL Jo

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long day

yesterday, I forgot my fitbit. i burned out 4k after i got home from the hospital, but couldn’t do more.

yesterday, i spent the day in the waiting room of an ER. i ate from vending machines, drank not any water, and walked, a lot.

yesterday, my friend lived. now she is in a hospital that will keep her locked away until they deem her no longer a threat, to herself.

yesterday is gone. today, i’m a lot older, a bit sadder, and waiting for tomorrow to come.

jorc

“I have been-and always will be-your friend” ~ Spock

Stardate 3417.3
I fell in love with him during the episode; “This side of Paradise”, when he himself fell in love.

I was 10.

A 10 year old’s affections are fickle, but even though I was no longer in love by the next episode, I have always loved him. Both Leonard Nimoy, and the character he played, Mr. Spock.

The title to that Episode was from a poem called “Tiare Tahiti” By Rupert Brooke, it seems fitting to share it with you today.

Mamua, when our laughter ends,
And hearts and bodies, brown as white,
Are dust about the doors of friends,
Or scent ablowing down the night,
Then, oh! then, the wise agree,
Comes our immortality.
Mamua, there waits a land
Hard for us to understand.
Out of time, beyond the sun,
All are one in Paradise,
You and Pupure are one,
And Taü, and the ungainly wise.
There the Eternals are, and there
The Good, the Lovely, and the True,
And Types, whose earthly copies were
The foolish broken things we knew;
There is the Face, whose ghosts we are;
The real, the never-setting Star;
And the Flower, of which we love
Faint and fading shadows here;
Never a tear, but only Grief;
Dance, but not the limbs that move;
Songs in Song shall disappear;
Instead of lovers, Love shall be;
For hearts, Immutability;
And there, on the Ideal Reef,
Thunders the Everlasting Sea!

And my laughter, and my pain,
Shall home to the Eternal Brain.
And all lovely things, they say,
Meet in Loveliness again;
Miri’s laugh, Teïpo’s feet,
And the hands of Matua,
Stars and sunlight there shall meet
Coral’s hues and rainbows there,
And Teüra’s braided hair;
And with the starred tiare’s white,
And white birds in the dark ravine,
And flamboyants ablaze at night,
And jewels, and evening’s after-green,
And dawns of pearl and gold and red,
Mamua, your lovelier head!
And there’ll no more be one who dreams
Under the ferns, of crumbling stuff,
Eyes of illusion, mouth that seems,
All time-entangled human love.
And you’ll no longer swing and sway
Divinely down the scented shade,
Where feet to Ambulation fade,
And moons are lost in endless Day.
How shall we wind these wreaths of ours,
Where there are neither heads nor flowers?
Oh, Heaven’s Heaven!—but we’ll be missing
The palms, and sunlight, and the south;
And there’s an end, I think, of kissing,
When our mouths are one with Mouth….

Taü here, Mamua,
Crown the hair, and come away!
Hear the calling of the moon,
And the whispering scents that stray
About the idle warm lagoon.
Hasten, hand in human hand,
Down the dark, the flowered way,
Along the whiteness of the sand,
And in the water’s soft caress,
Wash the mind of foolishness,
Mamua, until the day.
Spend the glittering moonlight there
Pursuing down the soundless deep
Limbs that gleam and shadowy hair,
Or floating lazy, half-asleep.
Dive and double and follow after,
Snare in flowers, and kiss, and call,
With lips that fade, and human laughter
And faces individual,
Well this side of Paradise! ….
There’s little comfort in the wise.

Stardate – February 27, 2015
We, a generation of nerds and geeks, of space travelers, of introverts and loners, of folks smarter than the world around them, of dreamers, of logical and illogical minds, of rocket builders, and budding scientists, dreamers, and those not afraid to fly, we mourn the loss of a legend, a hero, one so like us, and so not like us. Mr. Nimoy, Spock, although you never knew it, I have been, and always will be, your friend. Live long and prosper.

Jorc

Standing silent during the Pledge of Allegiance

When I was a child….

Under God was added in 1954.

Now, my opinion:

Define Allegiance. “The loyalty of a citizen to his or her government or of a subject to his or her sovereign.”

No US citizen should stand silent.

Your belief in God can keep you silent during that portion of the reciting of the Pledge of Allegiance, because your belief in GOD is not of issue when showing loyalty to our country, but my honest opinion is that if a person cannot pledge loyalty to their homeland, they should find another homeland.

The Article? Here:

Happy New Year, 2 months late

Well, I’ve had my healthy lunch, and was just browsing blogs a bit and came across Big Jew on a Diet. I laughed at his most recent post about Justin Beiber’s dick, but after scrolling down a bit, I came to the same conclusion that he did.

I didn’t meet my weight loss goals last year.

Oh, I did for a time, but then as outside influences dragged me further and further off center, I let them. I made excuses, I did not always try my best, and here I am, fighting the same battles.

Here is a partial list of the goals I had for 2014:

Personal

Reach and maintain 145 pounds

Work out twice per week

Write 1 poem per month

Work on power of attraction

Find ways to be a better wife

Yoga

Stop taking hydrocodone (almost there, maybe twice a month)

Wean off blood pressure meds (nope you read the post about Anaphylaxis?)

Wean off zolpedem

Start Toastmasters

Write thank you cards every time

Travel to switzerland (That one I did!)

Work

Get raise (Did this!)

Make a gameplan for job growth or new job (and this!)

New resume

So, as you can see, I didn’t exactly nail it. I’m keeping this list and adding for 2015, Take a water color class.  I know, everyone else did this 2 months ago.

I get it, I’m just slow getting started this year. LOL.

Jorc

Marriage Equality in Texas

My wife and I were legally married Oct 2013 in Iowa.

I signed my marriage license with my new name.

When we returned to Texas, I learned I could not change my name here without a court order. I am holding out for the day I can change my name in Texas because I was married in Iowa.
Friends, you may dance at my Name Change Celebration as soon as Texas recognizes my legal marriage.

I know there is a lot of opposition to gay marriage. I’ve even heard people compare our marriages to marrying animals.

You, your religion, your church, and your family dictates what rules you follow. I respect that, and expect you to respect my rules, even though they are different from yours. My rules include same sex marriage. You marry whom you want, and I will marry who I want.

I am hoping for the right to do that in June.

Yesterday, this happened:

pic-of-family-marriage-eq

Totally crazy week

Wow, so much has happened this week.
The BIG THING, I had a head on collision with a deer.
It was everything you would think, scary, heartbreaking, and after having my car inspected, a pain in the ass.
The car is damaged, but it is very drivable.

So, help me out here.
I own the car, and had hoped to get one more year without car payments.
Know this about the car. Runs great, now has body damage. 7 years old and over 101000 miles.
It is a Prius, and so runs partially on batteries.

I have a few options.

Fix the car. I have a $500 deductable and will have to pay $10 per day for a rental car. The shop says 9 days to fix.
Pocket the money (we are saving for a vacation) and trade the car in. This mean a car payment, as I haven’t saved enough to pay cash for it.
Pocket the money and drive the damaged car untill fall(after the big vacation) then trade it for a car payment.
Just keep driving it as-is for the next year as originally planned and fund that vacation!

I am really torn about spending all that money on a car so old and with so many miles. Anyway, what do YOU think?

Thanks, Jojo

Last today, but not least

SPEAKER

Today, I am going to make my first attempt at one of my other 2014 resolutions (goals). Today I am going to a Toastmasters meeting!

Saying I’m not good at public speaking is a far cry for reality. I really, really suck at public speaking! My anxiety levels get so high when I have to speak, even in front of a group I know, that I fall apart, and become very ineffectual.

My employer has hinted at several turns that this is a handicap to my position, so I contacted a friend who is a fantastic public speaker and said HELP! His first advice was to join a Toastmasters group, so tonight is the night I attend my first meeting to observe. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Jo

it’s time

Well, it’s been a while.

Happy news first. My quit meter is 11 months 5 days.

The bad news, my partner started smoking again about a month ago. I have reall y put my foot down, and am working hard on her to quit again.

The rest of the bad news? I have let myself fall apart since January 1st.
I have gained a LOT of weight, now up to 176. My blood pressure went up to a crazy 160/100 consistently, and the migraines got horrible.

I have taken a few positive steps.
Although our insurance changed to a horrible plan, I have been to the doctor a lot this year, trying to get things straightened out.
I am now taking 2 blood pressure meds. One help with migraines (an has reduced them a lot). The other has a diuretic.  I am maintaining about 130/80 now. I still don’t know what has caused this. Although the stress is high, my colesteral is crazy low.
I also started full time progesterone and estrogen to get my hormones back in line.
I think the fibro is well controlled, with flares every 2-3 weeks. I am having a lot of problems with my right knee, but I’m not ready yet to deal with it. After losing oth hips, i’m still not ready to be told the knee is gone, so I’ll continue to baby it.

What needs to happen now, is a lifestyle change. I need to go on a diet and find some sort of exercise program my body can handle.

my problem is both time and motivation. I just found time tonight, found?, no made time tonight to paint my toenails. Something I have been trying to get done for 4 weeks. Sigh.

So, bear with me, here we go, a 51 year ol woman trying to find herself once again!

Wish me luck!

Jo